Delusions of Spring

This cartoon really sums up how mania can present itself.

Top 10 Signs a Therapist is Approaching Burn-out

Top 10 Signs a Therapist is Approaching Burn-out

10. You think of the peaceful park you like as “your private therapeutic milieu.”
9. You realize that your floridly psychotic patient, who is picking invisible flowers out of mid air, is probably having more fun in life than you are.
8. A grateful client, who thinks you walk on water, brings you a small gift and you end up having to debrief your feelings of unworthiness with a colleague.
7. You are watching a re-run of the Wizard of Oz and you start to categorize the types of delusions that Dorothy had.
6. Your best friend comes to you with severe relationship troubles, and you start trying to remember which cognitive behavioral technique has the most empirical validly for treating this problem.
5. You realize you actually have no friends, they have all become just one big case load.
4. A co-worker asks how you are doing and you reply that you are a bit “internally preoccupied” and “not able to interact with peers” today.

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Signs You Might Be Bipolar

You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up.
The sun is too loud.
Trees begin to chase you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
Things become “Very Clear.”
You ask the drive-through attendant if you can get your order to go.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chandeliers can understand.
The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
You keep yelling “STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!” even though you are the only one in the room.

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Simple Stress Management Exercise

Is someone getting on your last nerve? Are you stressed out? This simple exercise should help reduce your stress.

Take a deep breath.

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water.

There now, feeling better?

See… laughter is a great stress reliever.

Humor – Daily Affirmations for the Unstable

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
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Humor: Top 10 Signs Your Girlfriend May be Bipolar

This isn’t to be used as a diagnostic tool. It is purely comedic.

10. She is blonde AND still has an IQ of 140.

9. She thinks PMS is for wimps.

8. There are times in the year were she STOPS talking.

7. She is the one in the Club dancing with glow sticks for hours without taking a break.

6. She takes drugs to have a normal state instead of freaking out.

5. One word – EXTREME
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Humor: Top 10 Signs That You Might Have Bipolar Disorder

This is not to be used as a diagnostic tool. It is purely comedic.

10. You think Robin Williams should Perk Up.

9. You just bought the Kenny G and Berry Manilow box set just because.

8. You think going to bed on Monday and getting up on Friday is a good rest.

7. What do you mean you’re tired — I had only 3 orgasms!

6. You cannot remember doing number 7.
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How Many Personality Disorders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

How many people with Narcissistic personality disorder does to take to change a light bulb?
Just one. To hold the light bulb but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.

How many people with Borderline personality disorder does to take to change a light bulb?
Just one. To threaten suicide if you don’t change it for him/her.

How many people with Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder does to take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.

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Diagnostic Criteria for NPD: Normal Person Disorder

1.      A chronic feeling of normalness.

2.      A tendency to bore others easily.

3.      A nagging sense of constantly meeting one’s goal.

4.      Lack of difficulty getting organized.

5.      Inability to be humorous or take a joke.

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Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY
We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA
I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC
Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me).

MANIA
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town … or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

PARANOIA
Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
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