Anger Therapy

By Sonia Neale

Aristotle said: Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power; that is not easy.

When I entered therapy thirteen years ago, I was very angry; only I didn’t know it. I thought everyone else was the problem. My limbic system was out of kilter and went Chernobyl if I was crossed in any way; be it by my family, my mother, my co-workers, the vacuum cleaner, the dish-washer or the video machine, I would have a well-deserved brain snap. I could literally feel the poisonous, toxic hormones exploding, flooding and melting down my brain in a mushroom cloud of fear, loathing and impending catastrophe.

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New Study Finds That Add-On Treatment Improves Depressive Symptoms In Bipolar Disorder

Lingering depression is a serious and common problem in bipolar disorder, and does not resolve well with existing treatments. Because individuals with both depression and bipolar disorder experience a glutathione deficiency, an antioxidant that protects cells from toxins, researchers in a new study scheduled for publication in the September 15th issue of Biological Psychiatry sought to evaluate whether N-acetyl cysteine (NAC), an over-the-counter supplement that increases brain glutathione, might help alleviate depressive symptoms. Read more

Marijuana Success Stories: #2 – Depression

By Anonymous

I am writing this because I believe it is important to get as much information as possible regarding medical marijuana use out into society, so that we can begin (it’s really sad we’re not there yet) to change public perception.  I am a 32-year-old music teacher, athletic coach and professional musician.  I am married and I have two children.  I have a bachelor’s and master’s degree.

My primary reason for using marijuana is to deal with symptoms related to periodic bouts of severe depression.  My mother is diagnosed bipolar, and her father was also.  Incidentally, his mother, my great-grandmother died by committing suicide.  It is likely she also suffered severe depression and it would appear that it is at least partly a genetic characteristic.

I was first diagnosed with clinical depression while I was in high school at approximately age 14.  But I am certain that my feelings and symptoms began at puberty around age 11.  At the time of my diagnoses I was adamantly opposed to the use of marijuana or drugs of any kind.  I was then and am now a competitive endurance athlete and saw it as being in opposition to that endeavor. Read more

More Tips on Identifying Bipolar Disorder in Yourself

By Heidi Blakeslee

Bipolar disorder is one of the easier mental disorders to diagnose. The important thing is to identify it before it rampages through your lifestyle and affects not only you, but the ones you love.

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12 Ways to Care for a Depressed Person

By James Bishop

The person with depression usually can’t see a way forward. They may fervently believe that nobody can help them, and life is pointless. That doesn’t mean that they’re right, and there are plenty of things that you can do to help. The type and amount of care that you can give will depend on your relationship with the person, but here are some ideas.

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8 Ways to Help Your Bipolar Loved One Cope

By Therese J. Borchard

Depression and bipolar disorder are often family diseases.

Everyone sharing a kitchen and a bathroom is affected. In fact, in his book “Understanding Depression,” J. Raymond DePaulo Jr., M.D., writes that “depression … has a much greater impact on marital life than rheumatoid arthritis or cardiac illness. One study found that only severe forms of cancer affected a family as adversely as depression or bipolar disorder.”

My manic depression could have easily wrecked my marriage and my relationships with my two children. Instead, we emerged as a tighter, stronger unit. How? Here are eight ways Eric, my husband, helped me cope – tips for families on how, exactly, to hang in there with a loved one who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

1. Educate yourself.

I remember the afternoon of my first severe panic attack. I phoned Eric at work as my breath grew shallow and my heart pounded as if I were having a heart attack. I was sure I was dying. As soon as he walked through the door, he stared at me suspiciously. My limbs were in place, and I seemed to be functioning just fine. What was the problem?

“You don’t understand,” I explained. “I thought I was dying! It was the most frightening experience I have ever had.”

What convinced my spouse that my bipolar disorder was an illness, not a weakness? Tons of research. The reams of paper that I printed out and asked him to read. The psychiatric evaluations he witnessed. The group therapy and family sessions he attended and the conversations with other spouses of persons with bipolar disorder.

Education is always the starting point because until a spouse or daughter or friend of a manic-depressive understands the illness, it is impossible to say and do the right thing. Do your own research by going online to National Alliance of Mental Illness or to Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, or by doing a Google search of the words “bipolar disorder”.

2. Learn how to talk to your loved one.

Eric doesn’t say much when I’m clutching tissue paper, crying my eyes out. And he’s hesitant to speak when I’m manic (not that I would let him get in a word). When I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, he reminds me why I need to. And when I’m revved up, he’s the voice of reason telling me why a spontaneous trip to New York isn’t smart.

Anna Bishop, wife of blogger James Bishop (findingoptimism.com) has some wonderful advice for the loved one of a manic depressive on what to say and when:

When James becomes ill he turns into a different person. I say goodbye to my husband, so to speak, and hello to bipolar James. In a depressive episode he becomes highly irritable and usually itches for a fight. Early on he will often make comments to bait me. “All I do is work, work, work, to support your lifestyle and your precious social group.” You can imagine what a red rag to a bull that comment is.

At this point I have 2 options:? 1. Take the bait, have a messy fight and accelerate his downswing, or? 2. Grit my teeth and say “it’s the illness speaking”. If I can do that then I have a much better chance of diffusing the situation. A comment like “You sound stressed about work – let’s talk” has better results and sometimes can even stop the mood swing.

3. Make some rules.

You know all the fire drills in primary school you prayed would happen during the math pop quiz? All those times the school administrators rehearsed what, exactly, would happen in the case of an emergency? Families of bipolar persons need them as well: a plan of action for those times when the bipolar person is sick.

In order to design such a strategy, the manic depressive and her loved one must compile a list of symptoms – like the smoke and burning smell of that make-believe fire in the third grade-and what action should follow them, like “call the doctor.” Each family will have a different list of symptoms and a different model of recovery, because no two illnesses are exactly alike.

Eric and I have agreed that I will call my doctor after two consecutive nights’ sleep under five hours, or after three days of crying spells. A friend of mine told me that he and his wife have agreed that she will see her psychiatrist if she hasn’t gotten out of bed for three days.

4. Plan for emergencies.

As part of the above plan of action, you should consider what should happen when the bipolar person is very ill. “When you are dealing with a disease that has the potential to become life-threatening, the last thing you want is an improvised response to an emergency situation,” writes Francis Mark Mondimore, M.D. in his book “Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for Patients and Families.”

Part of your plan should include a list of people who you can call for help. Of course, it is recommended that the bipolar person be working closely with a psychiatrist, and that he know how to get in touch with the psychiatrist after hours, and in case of emergencies. It’s also a good idea to know which hospital the psychiatrist works with, or if the doctor will work with any hospital in the area. Ask friends, doctors, and family members for their recommendations about hospitals and mental-health practitioners.

Also, the red tape of insurance issues is often too overwhelming to process at the time of the emergency, so get familiar with the details of your medical insurance coverage for psychiatric illnesses right now. Know the terms of hospital coverage, especially, and how much the patient is expected to pay out of pocket for various services.

5. Listen.

“When people are talking,” writes Rachel Naomi Remen, “there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it.”

When I think back to the days when I was very ill, crying and shaking at the dinner table and at preschool functions with the kids, no response was as appreciated as when someone simply listened. Suggestions came off as condescending, even though I know they were meant to be helpful. Advice was annoying. Many times I just needed to be heard, to be validated.

Don’t hesitate to say nothing because silence often speaks the most loving message.

6. Go gentle.

I can’t count all the times I have tried Eric’s patience with the reckless highs and debilitating lows of my bipolar disorder. When I get fired up and want to sign up for 60 new activities – not to mention losing my car keys, cell phone, and purse – it’s difficult for him not to get annoyed. But because he places my exasperating behavior in the proper context of an illness, and sees them as mere symptoms of a disease – rather than careless and self-absorbed actions – he is better able to go gentle with me.

Moreover, a little kindness and gentleness toward your loved one-especially at those times that you feel incapable of affection and care- goes a long way to aid recovery.

7. Laugh together.

Humor heals in so many ways. It combats fear, as it loosens anxiety’s death grip on your heart and every other living organ. It comforts and relaxes. And recent studies indicate that humor also reduces pain and boosts a person’s immune system.

“Laughter dissolves tension, stress, anxiety, irritation, anger, grief, and depression,” says Chuck Gallozzi of personal-development.com. “Like crying, laughter lowers inhibitions, allowing the release of pent-up emotions. After a hearty bout of laughter, you will experience a sense of well-being. Simply put, he who laughs, lasts. After all, if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. Remember, a person without a sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers.”

Humor also aids communication, and if there is one thing besides education that is absolutely essential for a healthy relationship with a bipolar loved one it’s good communication.

8. Get support for yourself.

Caregiving is draining. Even when you are protecting yourself with the armor of regular sleep, healthy meals, and essential time-outs from your sick loved one, caring for a person still takes a toll on your physical and mental health.

“It can be exhausting to live with a hypomanic person and frustrating to deal with a seriously depressed person day after day,” says Dr. Mondimore. “The changes and unpredictability of the moods of someone with bipolar disorder intrude into home life and can be the source of severe stress in relationships, straining them to breaking point.”

That’s why you need support as much as your loved one. You need to talk to people who have lived with a manic-depressive, and be validated by their experiences. Spouses and family members of bipolar persons should consider therapy for themselves, as a way of processing all the stress. You may also benefit from checking out support programs for spouses and loved ones of the mentally ill, like National Alliance for Mental Illness, that are available today.

14 Things You Might Not Know About Depression

Depression is the second most common mental illness in America, but it is still misunderstood by many people. Education is the key to reducing the stigma associated with mental illness. The following are some little known facts about Depression.

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Overcoming Depression: Do It Yourself Or Get A Professional?

By Erica Krull

About a month ago, I put in a new faucet. Our old one was leaky, old, crusted over, and the dripping, dripping, dripping was torture to my ears. Imagine trying to sit and write something brilliant with that going on in the background every 1.7 seconds?

Finally, I took it upon myself to take care of it. I thought I’d suffered enough with this thing, more misery than it was worth hoping something would happen. Since my husband wasn’t too enthused, I decided I’d tackle it myself. I was going to “fix” my faucet. I did get the right parts at the store, wrestled with the old faucet for a while, and finally got the thing working.

What pride I had in doing it myself! I was reluctant even to ask help from my husband after a while when I was stuck on the last piece – yes, the last stinking piece before I could turn it on. I stuck to my resolve and found a way out of my pickle. Truly, this was something I had fixed on my own, top to bottom, inside and out.

While that worked out pretty well for my faucet, that approach didn’t work so well for my depression years ago. For starters, I didn’t even realize the miry bog of despair and anxiety was a significant treatable problem. I thought it was normal after your life turns upside down as a new parent. And guess what – I’m the professional you’re supposed to call in these kinds of things. I’m a therapist and I was still bamboozled by depression.

I told myself every which way ’til Sunday that this was something I could beat, something I could get over. It would change when this thing would happen. Once my daughter was this old, all that stress would be gone and things would be good. Or if I just try to “do better” or “be better” at this working mother and wife thing, I’d feel much better. Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. Not even barking up the right tree.

It would be like me trying to figure out how I could argue with the city utilities office to make the flow of water into our house slow down. We’re paying too much for our water for some reason and the inside of my sink keeps getting wet when I’m not using it, so it must be something with the city pipes or the water supply. And if we could just quit washing our dishes, we could get rid of the sink so it wouldn’t get wet anymore. Maybe we didn’t need any water to our house. Yes, what a solution that would be.

The other problem with my self-help approach to depression is that I was looking for a fix. Here’s the truth of the matter – depression can’t be fixed. Nope, working through depression requires a process. That’s layers of awareness, understanding, challenging, accepting, persevering, reaching out, and doing it all over again.

So maybe a bad mood on a Saturday afternoon is a self-help fix job for yourself – much like replacing your own kitchen faucet. Months or years of depression including weight changes, lost sleep, no motivation, lack of energy, no enjoyment of life, and some scary thoughts about living one more day – no, this job requires professional help. This is going behind the walls to replace all the worn out pipe attachments, rusted pipe sections, checking each and every faucet, and monitoring everything to keep the whole system working smoothly.

So if you know that you have a history of depression or if any of the above symptoms sound familiar, you need to ask yourself a question. Is this really a self-help job, or do you need to call a professional?

How Do I Reduce My Risk of Depression?

By Ben Martin, Psy.D.

It may not always be possible to prevent depression. However, the following strategies may help reduce your risk of becoming depressed:

1. Be aware of your personal risk of depression.
2. Have a psychiatric evaluation and psychotherapy, if needed.
3. Develop a strong social and spiritual support system.
4. Reduce your stress.
5. Exercise regularly.
6. Decrease use of alcohol and/or drugs.
7. Get treatment for alcohol/drug abuse if needed.
8. Eat healthfully.
9. Get good sleep.

1. Be Aware of Your Personal Risk of Depression

Be alert to factors that can increase your risk for depression such as:

• Family history
• High levels of stress
• Major life changes, such as:
  • Death of a relative
  • Assault
  • Severe marital or relationship problems
• Psychological factors, such as:
  • Low self-esteem
  • Perfectionism
  • Sensitivity to loss or rejection
• Inadequate social support
• Previous depression
• Chronic physical illness
• Hormonal changes
• Anxiety
• Medications that can cause depression

2. Have a Psychiatric Evaluation and Psychotherapy, If Needed

If you feel overwhelmed by stress or are experiencing symptoms of depression, see your health care provider for a physical exam and mental health evaluation. You may be referred for further evaluation or counseling, if appropriate.

3. Develop a Strong Social and Spiritual Support System

A network of supportive relationships is beneficial for the prevention and treatment of depression. Supportive relationships serve as a buffer against stress, which can sometimes trigger depression.

Strong spiritual faith is associated with a reduced risk of depression. Spiritual faith can be found in the context of organized religion, or in something less structured, such as meditation. In a group setting, it can provide the additional benefit of social support.

4. Reduce Your Stress

A variety of relaxation techniques can help you cope with stressors that may contribute to depression. Examples include meditation, deep breathing, progressive relaxation, yoga, and biofeedback. These techniques help you pay attention to tension in your body and release it with exercises that help quiet your mind and relax your muscles. You can also reduce stress by getting adequate sleep, rest, and recreation.

5. Exercise Regularly

Regular exercise helps you relieve stress and may help prevent or reduce depression. Aerobic exercise and yoga have been found to be particularly beneficial for reducing stress and improving mood. Aerobic exercise can raise the levels of brain chemicals that affect mood, such as endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine. Other benefits of exercise include: weight loss (if necessary), increased muscle tone, and higher self-esteem. Yoga provides the benefits of stretching and deep relaxation.

6. Decrease Use of Alcohol, Get Treatment for Drug Abuse

Alcohol and drugs may contribute to depression. If you can discontinue use of such substances on your own, do so. If you think you may have a substance abuse disorder, seek professional treatment.

7. Eat Healthfully

Eat a healthful diet, that is low in fat, high in fiber, and rich in vitamins and minerals. Specific dietary factors that may be beneficial in depression are the B-complex vitamins (found in whole grains) and omega-3 fatty acids (found in cold-water fish, fish oil, and flax seeds).

8. Get Good Sleep

Get a reasonable amount of sleep (around 8 hours) nightly. If you are suffering from insomnia, seek treatment, since chronic insomnia is thought to be a risk factor for depression.

Real Men Don’t Get Help

The stigma still exists: “Real men” don’t whine about their physical, mental or emotional problems. They work it out, suck it up or walk it off. Although more men are seeking professional help to overcome mental health issues, they often still feel stigmatized by society-mostly by other men-as being weak.

Why don’t men ask for help?

Historically, boys didn’t talk about their emotions or thoughts, so they failed to develop words to describe their feelings. The inability to name emotions made it difficult for boys to discuss their thoughts with friends or family.

Men and boys often dismiss most problems as nuisances, and try to solve them alone or through a network of relatives and friends. But some issues may seem overwhelming or too personal. Failure to address the problems may lead to depression.

Signs of depression

Men often hide depression by becoming workaholics. Other methods of covering up depression can include anger, drinking and withdrawal. In fact, many men reach the pinnacle of their careers and realize they don’t have friends or an emotional connection with a spouse or lover. Many don’t even realize they’re depressed.

Symptoms of depression may include:

• feeling more tired in the morning
• becoming more irritable
• becoming isolated
• feeling less satisfied with sex
• acting in ways their fathers did when they were depressed
• craving alcohol and food

Finding help

If you are having mental or emotional problems, consult your primary care physician or a professional therapist. Often a spouse, relative or close friend can point out the signs and suggest resources.

Men’s activity groups, such as an evening basketball league, often can function as support groups. Once men form friendships, they tend to discuss personal affairs after finishing an activity. Men who have experienced similar problems may share their stories, assuring a friend in need that asking for help doesn’t mean surrendering masculinity.

By Ben Martin, Psy.D.

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